It's 4 a.m. . . .
Do you know when bears emerge from hibernation in Vermont? I do. It's sometime between early March and mid-April, depending on how late the previous winter set in and how long spring takes to arrive. There has not been a fatal bear attack in Vermont since 1943. This is what I'm googling at 4 a.m. these days. While there are so many things to get excited for about this move, there are so many unknowns that are getting closer and closer by the minute. In the past month or so, we've gotten our Vermont license plates for our truck (the truck we bought because you need four wheel drive when you live at the base of a mountain) and rented an apartment in Vermont from May 16th to June 15th so we have somewhere to stay while we begin renovations. This means we have an actual date we can show up for our new life! This is a lot to process, so instead of facing all that good and bad anxiety head on, I spend most of my sleepless hours figuring out how to keep my kids from getting eaten by a bear. I think focusing on the bear issue is a way to try to gain some control over all the things I can't begin to know about what life will be like in Vermont.
Next, while its crazy exciting that our move is less than 75 days away, our current life is feeling so cozy (and safe) lately. I You know that saying, "Live like there's no tomorrow"? Well, when applied to your house it should read, "Live like you're listing your house tomorrow." Now that we really are about to put our house on the market, we've finally gotten nightstands for our bedroom, hung artwork on bare walls and painted so much trim that I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome in my left hand (I kid). I've also cleaned out and organized all of our closets (okay, almost). The point is, our house has become a most pleasant place to live now that we're ready to sell it. I keep telling Boris this just needs to be a lesson for Vermont - that we need to do everything, including decorating, at the outset, so we can just really enjoy the house. Why do I know that won't actually happen?
What this all really leads to is my late realization that while a big move was the best decision for us, some more love and care to our current living situation could have made us a bit happier in our home for the last five years. That of course leads me to doubt whether a big move was really the change we needed. I certainly hope we'll be happier in Vermont, but I think if we are, part of the reason will be that we're forced to face what we're giving up by leaving this house, and well now make an effort to re-create some of that in our new home.
The next 75 days are going to be insane and I hope I'll get back here a bit more to share some of that chaos with you.